Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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