yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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