Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
