Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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