How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize