If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
