bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the condom got lost in my hair
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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