R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
