worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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