Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
