id be glad to
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you win again, gameday.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
