i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
