Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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