What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
