just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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