Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
