i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
