I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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