I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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