Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize