my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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