She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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