I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
