I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
