he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dicks are not precious.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
