I hate all girls vehemently.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You ruined the universe
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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