dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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