this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
