it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
