I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
