we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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