Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
