More tranny stories later!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
