Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
