You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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