We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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