Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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