Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
