You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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