i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
