My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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