You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
