My first STD was from a foam party
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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