dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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