I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
