Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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