I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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