you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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