there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
