Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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