That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
