You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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