Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
