I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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