Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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