let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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