No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
