He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
