She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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