butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize